The Executive Ladder

Know Your Limits and Retain Your Sanity This Holiday Season

You know the look – and it is coming straight for you.  Someone is going to ask you to do something.  Before this person can even get their request out, your mind is racing for a plausible excuse, never pausing to actually consider the truth.  It could be as simple as purchasing a gift or as complex as coordinating the holiday program but you just can’t take on one more task.  And for some reason, that doesn’t seem to be a good enough reason to say no. 

As if you don’t have enough on your to-do list, throw in the holidays and you can quickly become inundated.  With shopping, decorating, parties and family get-togethers, how can you possibly complete everything on your to-do list while retaining your sanity?

I have found over the years that the biggest cause of being overscheduled is our inability to say no.  Whether it is out of guilt, a sense of obligation, or the desire to avoid hurt feelings, we say yes when we really shouldn’t.  Are you a “yes” person?  If you are you overwhelmed, overscheduled and frustrated, you probably are.  If so, don’t feel bad – you’re in good company - few of us have mastered this ability.  But it’s time to start because no one benefits when you take on more than you can handle – especially you.   

What are your limits?  How much more can you handle over and above what is already on your plate? What can be put on hold to make time for your immediate priorities?  Review your calendar for the month and make a note of any down time you have.  If you are willing and able to fill it, schedule the most important activities that you can’t or don’t want to miss.  Just make sure you don’t become the dumping ground for someone else’s unnecessary, undesirable responsibilities.  It’s better to do two or three things really well than ten things second-rate.   

Before you say yes to anything new ask yourself the following questions:

·        Is this something I really want to do?

·        Will this benefit me or my family?

·        Is this the best use of my time?

·        Will my career, my family or I be negatively affected if I say no?  (Don’t say yes just to make someone else happy)

·        Is it the right thing to do?

You don’t have to feel guilty about saying no. It’s not your responsibility to take up the slack for those around you.  Say yes to what’s important and let the rest go.   And remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel – January is right around the corner.

Your Assignment:

Stop being a YES person!  Before taking on another responsibility or attending another party, ask yourself if it is truly something you want to do; will it benefit you or your family; is it the best use of your time; will it help advance your career; will you, your career, or your family be negatively affected if you say no; or is it the right thing to do?  If the answer is yes, go ahead.  If not, politely decline and move on. 

Jill Frank is “The Promotion Coach” and mother of three.  Are ready to be a mom that has it all – a great family life AND a successful career – with less stress and guilt?  Start by getting her FREE checklist, “75 Ways to Take Better Care of Yourself” and FREE special report, Five Strategies that will Positively Impact Your Career” at www.leverageyourtalent.com/working_mothers.htm.

Confidence or lack of it

I have a confession to make, I love TV - it’s one of my guilty pleasures.  Why am I telling you this?  Because one of my favorite shows just happens to tie into this week’s theme on confidence. 

Have you ever watched TLC’s What Not to Wear?  I started watching it because I liked to see the transformation from no style to well-dressed.  But, I got hooked on the transformation that takes place in the “contributor’s” confidence, not their new look.  In one week, not only do they get a new wardrobe and haircut, they get a new perspective on life.  How great is that?

If I had to guess, I would say that at some point in everyone’s life, they have had a dip in their confidence level.  When it seeps into our professional lives, it can cause consequences that cancel out all of our hard work. 

After being contacted by several people for confidence coaching, I decided to write this article. More and more people are realizing the effect it has on their personal and professional lives.  No one is exempt – anyone from the CEO down to the new interns can suffer from a lack of confidence. 

To keep your confidence level in check, read this week’s brand new article!

What's Holding You Back?

Let me ask you – are you exactly where you want to be in your career?  If you’re receiving this newsletter, chances are that you still have unfulfilled career aspirations.  So, what's holding you back?  Are you unhappy with your career path?  Do you lack direction or resources?  Or, is fear holding you back? 

Fear comes in many shapes and sizes; sometimes it’s more obvious than others.  Look at what you are avoiding and how you can make changes.  Personally, I found that I was doing everything I possibly could to avoid speaking in front of groups.  Knowing that this phobia can have a major impact on my business, I've identified ways that I can accomplish my goal without breaking out in cold sweats!  Since reading the following quote, I've started looking at my fears differently and found that I'm much happier with my decisions and the results that I get. 

"I think we should follow a simple rule:  If we can take the worst, take the risk." - Dr. Joyce Brothers 

Most of the time, the worst isn’t nearly as bad as we think it will be.  So get out there and do something – anything – that will take you closer to achieving your goals.  If you happen to fall down, get back up and try something else!

The Devil Wears Prada - Can You Relate?

I finally got around to seeing The Devil Wears Prada last night.  Although it was a supposed to be a light "chick flick", at times, I found my heart racing and had to remind myself that it was just a movie - not my life.

Even though they exaggerated Meryl Streep's character, Miranda Priestly, for effect, most people have, or do work for someone who shares many qualities with the "dragon lady" herself.  I definitely have - sometimes I still have nightmares about her.  So what do you do if you can relate to Andy's work life which includes choosing work over your friends and family, having a boss that never treats you with respect, and becoming someone you're not - and never wanted to be? 

Most importantly, always make decisions that are in line with your values.  If you find that your values aren't congruent with the organizations and those choices are impeding your opportunities for advancement, it might be time to cut and run.  If it's just your boss that you are having trouble with, try to address your concerns with him or her to determine if a resolution is possible.  If not, an internal transfer may be the best choice.  Regardless of your decision, there is always an alternative.  Many paths will lead you to your goal; your job is to pick the one right for you. 

Bottom line, you don't want to wake up one day and wonder when you turned into the person you've become.  Everyone has to make choices, sometimes sacrifices, to get what we want most.  What you should never have to sacrifice is yourself.  A successful career should bring you fulfillment, not leave you feeling empty. 

It's summer!

I have to admit, I'm in a lazy summertime mood.  Do you ever get that way?  It's so hot, I don't want to do anything - not even eat!  My brain seems to be in slow motion.  I promised to have my first eClass ready in July and the creative juices just don't seem to be flowing.  Don't worry, the first draft is done and I'll lock myself in an air conditioned room if necessary to complete it on time. 

The kids are home from school for the summer and I feel more like a cruise director than a coach.  This morning I was sitting in the sun watching them splash around in the water thinking that I could spend the next month this way.  Of course, I was ready to retreat to the cool a/c after an hour.  Can you blame me?  At 11:00, it was already approaching ninety degrees and high humidity.  Luckily, school starts early in Florida.  They go back August 1st!

Now that I've had a chance to cool down and relax a bit, I'm ready to get back to work.  But I draw the line at cooking dinner tonight.  Can you say 'take-out'?