The Executive Ladder

F.r.e.e. Goal Development Teleseminar

Did last year’s resolutions become a distant memory by February 1^st?

Join us for a F.R.E.E. teleseminar on January 18^th to learn the secrets of establishing goals that you will actually achieve this year.

If you would like to:

§         Lose weight or create a healthier lifestyle

§         Boost your success at work

§         Increase your effectiveness at home while reducing your stress

§         Guide your children to create and achieve their own goals

You’ll want to join us on Friday, January 18^th at 1:00pm Eastern (10:00 Pacific) for a F.R.E.E. teleseminar on The Power of Goals:

Forget New Year's Resolutions - Create New Year's Solutions:

How to Establish Goals That You Will Actually Achieve in 2008

Suzanne Freiberg, Jill Frank, and Lisa Silvershein will take you through the principles of effective goal setting so that you can:

§         Eliminate guilt and reduce your stress

§         Finally lose that extra weight you’ve been carrying around

§         Create a healthier lifestyle for you and your family

§         Increase your salary as you become more successful at work

§         Enjoy the time you spend with your family

§         Coach your children to challenge themselves, to feel empowered and to be able to take charge of their success.

§         Support your children in becoming confident and successful adults

There is no charge to attend this teleseminar – but spaces are limited so register early.  Go here to claim your spot!

Are Working Moms Really Making Their Kids Fat?

Are working mothers really making their kids fat?  No.  Are mothers in general making their kids fat with their choices and shortcuts?  Maybe.  But it's unfair to put all the blame on the already guilt-ridden working mom as Patricia M. Anderson, Kristen F. Butcher, and Philip B. Levine's study: Maternal Employment and Childhood Obesity has done. 

I can see how working mother's are taking SOME of the heat for this trend.  I was one of the worst when it came to feeding my kids unhealthy meals.  I was in such a hurry all the time that drive-thru's and 'heat and eat' meals became my crutch.  However, even after I became a SAHM and a WAHM, I could easily return to my old habits if I didn't plan healthy meals in advance. 

I won't name names, but I know more SAHM's who choose the quick and easy unhealthy than SAHM's who choose the quick and easy healthy.  Maybe it's because there is a perception that healthy meals are time consuming and unflavorful.  Or maybe it's because it is a constant battle to get your kids to eat carrot sticks instead of potato chips. 

There are many factors leading to the increased rate of childhood obesity and blaming working mothers accomplishes little more then fueling the debate over working versus stay at home moms.  The truth is that anyone can make their family's health a priority by quickly and easily preparing healthy meals and snacks for their family and incorporating exercise into their daily routine.

So stop feeling guilty and start taking action.  Spend a few minutes before you shop planning your meals for the week and leave the dishes for later while you take a walk with your kids.  Small steps can lead to a big payoff.  Find out more about how working mothers can lose the stress and guilt and be more successful - at home and at work - at www.leverageyourtalent.com/working_mothers.htm.

Know Your Limits and Retain Your Sanity This Holiday Season

You know the look – and it is coming straight for you.  Someone is going to ask you to do something.  Before this person can even get their request out, your mind is racing for a plausible excuse, never pausing to actually consider the truth.  It could be as simple as purchasing a gift or as complex as coordinating the holiday program but you just can’t take on one more task.  And for some reason, that doesn’t seem to be a good enough reason to say no. 

As if you don’t have enough on your to-do list, throw in the holidays and you can quickly become inundated.  With shopping, decorating, parties and family get-togethers, how can you possibly complete everything on your to-do list while retaining your sanity?

I have found over the years that the biggest cause of being overscheduled is our inability to say no.  Whether it is out of guilt, a sense of obligation, or the desire to avoid hurt feelings, we say yes when we really shouldn’t.  Are you a “yes” person?  If you are you overwhelmed, overscheduled and frustrated, you probably are.  If so, don’t feel bad – you’re in good company - few of us have mastered this ability.  But it’s time to start because no one benefits when you take on more than you can handle – especially you.   

What are your limits?  How much more can you handle over and above what is already on your plate? What can be put on hold to make time for your immediate priorities?  Review your calendar for the month and make a note of any down time you have.  If you are willing and able to fill it, schedule the most important activities that you can’t or don’t want to miss.  Just make sure you don’t become the dumping ground for someone else’s unnecessary, undesirable responsibilities.  It’s better to do two or three things really well than ten things second-rate.   

Before you say yes to anything new ask yourself the following questions:

·        Is this something I really want to do?

·        Will this benefit me or my family?

·        Is this the best use of my time?

·        Will my career, my family or I be negatively affected if I say no?  (Don’t say yes just to make someone else happy)

·        Is it the right thing to do?

You don’t have to feel guilty about saying no. It’s not your responsibility to take up the slack for those around you.  Say yes to what’s important and let the rest go.   And remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel – January is right around the corner.

Your Assignment:

Stop being a YES person!  Before taking on another responsibility or attending another party, ask yourself if it is truly something you want to do; will it benefit you or your family; is it the best use of your time; will it help advance your career; will you, your career, or your family be negatively affected if you say no; or is it the right thing to do?  If the answer is yes, go ahead.  If not, politely decline and move on. 

Jill Frank is “The Promotion Coach” and mother of three.  Are ready to be a mom that has it all – a great family life AND a successful career – with less stress and guilt?  Start by getting her FREE checklist, “75 Ways to Take Better Care of Yourself” and FREE special report, Five Strategies that will Positively Impact Your Career” at www.leverageyourtalent.com/working_mothers.htm.

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

As a child, you were probably asked, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Although some people have very distinct talents that will naturally lead into a career, most of us didn’t have a clue.  However, we expect that by adulthood, we will finally have an answer.    

Choosing a career path is the most difficult and frustrating obstacle for my clients to overcome. They want to know where they are going and how they are going to get there.  For some, there are too many choices – they suffer from BSOS (bright shiny object syndrome).  Others are afraid to make a decision – what if it’s the wrong choice, what if they try and fail, or how will they transition into a new career path?  And then there are those who are trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.   

If you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up, you can’t move forward.  How are you going to reach your goal until you decide what that goal is?  As a result, you slow your advancement, typically resulting in less mo*ney, and you don’t get the satisfaction of having a career that you love.   

You will experience more success and satisfaction when you align your career path with your strengths, interests and experience.  Rather than starting over from square one, unless you truly hate your work, build on the foundation that you have already laid.

Interests

Think about your interests.  What activities do you enjoy most in your professional and volunteer work?  Are there other areas that you have direct or indirect contact with that you would like to explore?   What other interests do you have?   

Make a list of all your interests while keeping in mind that not everything can be incorporated into your career.  A forty-five year old accountant, who loves baseball, probably shouldn’t quit his job to be a professional baseball player.  But maybe he can hold a position in the finance department for a baseball team.    

Strengths

We all have talents, whether we have identified them or not.  If you don’t already know what you naturally do well, it’s time to find out.  Think about activities that you consider easy.  Often we don’t pay much attention to them – we just assume they are easy for everyone.  If you have past performance appraisals, review them to determine which areas you consistently scored high without much effort.  If you still need help, ask someone you trust to tell you what they consider to be your strengths.  Sometimes what’s obvious to others isn’t quite so clear to us.   

You should also identify the tasks that are challenging for you.  You never want to select a career path that requires you to spend more time shoring up your weaknesses than developing your talents. Pursuing the things that come naturally to us will result in less frustration and more enjoyment and success.

Experience

Finally, look back over the course of your career.  What experience have you gained from the positions you’ve held as well as your volunteer work.  Include your direct and indirect experience.  For example, a marketing manager doesn’t just have experience in marketing.  He or she probably has experience in management, budgeting, human resources, and corporate communications, as well.  Break it down and you will see just how much experience you actually have.

Once you have all of this information down and you look at it together, you will begin to see the options available to you – options that you never thought of before.  All that is left for you to do is to make a decision and start taking action.   

The greatest benefit you will derive from confidently selecting your career path is empowerment. You are taking control of your future instead of taking what someone else has to offer.   

Coach’s Challenge:

If you haven’t mapped out your career path, figure out what is holding you back.  Is it fear?  Do you have so many varied interest that you can’t decide what you enjoy most?  Are you doing what is expected of you instead of what you want to do?  Or have you been content to coast along in your career? 

If having is a successful career is important to you, make a commitment to yourself to make a decision and take action.  Start by making a list of your interest, strengths, and experience and then notice the options that are available to you. 

Do you want to know where you are going and how you are going to get there?  Then it’s time to take action with a step-by-step system to uncover your interest, strengths, and experience so you can put yourself on the path to success.  Contact Jill to find out more.   

Working Mom, Super Mom - Is there really a difference?

Lately, it seems that everyone wants to accomplish something, just look at sites like www.43things.com. The ambitions posted on these sites run the gamut from wanting to get more organized to traveling the world to earning more money.  If you are a working mother, you know you are just as ambitious as everyone else out there. You also know that your career is the vehicle to achieving those aspirations.  Unfortunately, you probably feel like you are barely able to keep your head above water much less establish any professional goals beyond bringing home a paycheck.  Complicating matters even further, working mothers have hurdles to jump that their counterparts probably don’t even have on their radar.

Working mothers have two jobs – being a mother and being an employee.  There is no way to keep your family life from seeping into work.  You may be able to leave your work at the office but you can’t ever completely leave your family at home.  How many times have you left work early to take a sick child to the doctor or to attend a parent-teacher conference?  Do you feel like you have to ‘sneak’ out of the office right at five o’clock (whether your work is finished or not) so your child won’t be the last one picked up at after-school care – again?  Do you feel like your commitment to the company and your career is being questioned when you put your family first?  As if all of this juggling isn’t tiring enough, the second shift begins as soon as your “outside the home” job ends.  There is dinner, homework, little league, dance class, scouts, and on and on and on.

Another equally important challenge you face is the delicate task of having to weigh each decision you make between the needs of your family and the good of your career.  Do you entertain clients or have drinks with the boss after work or do you go to your son’s baseball game?  Do you apply for the promotion that will relocate your family across the country or do you put your career on the back burner until the kids are grown?  There is never an easy choice and I bet you tend to second guess your decisions and feel guilty no matter what choice you make.  In fact, I would guess that there isn’t another segment of the population who feels as much guilt as working mothers.

Let’s face it, mothers work because they need to – either they need the income, they need to fulfill their desire to work, and/or they feel the need to provide a better life for their children than is possible on one income.  But, if you are stressed out, always on the run, and don’t have quality time to spend with your kids, is having a career fulfilling that need or is it causing undue hardship on your family?  This is one of those times when it pays to do it right.  If you are going to work, shouldn’t it be for a career that is rewarding, both intrinsically and financially and that also allows you to enjoy your family life?

For working mothers, life is exhausting (as if I need to tell you)!  You are constantly being pulled in multiple directions, expected to perform miracles that few could accomplish, and take care of everyone around you – all without dropping a single ball and a smile on your face.  And somehow, we manage to pull it off, day after day.  Not always with a smile and occasionally a ball or two drops, but the ship stays afloat – even if it means that your own goals get sidelined.  But wouldn’t it be great if it wasn’t so difficult?  It is possible to have it all – a great career and a meaningful family life – without having to work even harder than you already do.  The key to success lies in:

• Prioritizing.  What comes first, right now?  How do you know where to focus your attention if you don’t know what is most important?
• Finding time for those priorities.  How do you fit it all in– time for your family, your career, and yourself – without sacrificing? 
• Goal setting. How will you know what direction to go in if you haven’t established solid goals?  You’ll quickly wear yourself out running in circles. Do you know what you want out of life, personally, professionally and financially?
• Planning.  A comprehensive plan to achieve your goals will keep you focused and on the right track.
• Making choices that are aligned with your priorities.  This is the number one key to eliminating your guilt and feeling good about your decisions.
• Surrounding yourself with a supportive community. Have you ever noticed that when you are around people who are drowning in misery that they bring you down with them?  The opposite holds true, as well.  If you surround yourself with people who are positive, goal-oriented, and supportive, your attitude soars and the possibilities really are endless. 
• A rolodex full of resources. No one can, or should try, to do it alone.  Having access to resources that can pick up where you want to leave off makes all the difference in the world.

By taking these steps, you are empowering yourself.  You are taking control of a chaotic situation that will result in a positive, meaningful life and a career that is both rewarding and affords the lifestyle that you want – all with less stress and guilt.  That means a better mom for your kids, a better partner for your significant other, and a happier YOU.

Your Assignment:

The first step to taking control of the chaos is to prioritize.  What is most important to you right now?  Is it finding more balance between work and family?  Making more money?  Spending more time with your kids and significant other?  Whatever is at the top of your list, come up with three action steps you can take to get closer to your goals.  Keep your priorities at the top of your mind at all times and you will see that your decision making process will get easier and the guilt you struggle with will begin to fade. 

Do you want to be a mom that has it all – the great family AND successful career?  Are you ready to get out of overwhelm, lose the guilt, and take control of your professional life?  I’ll be announcing a new program soon, just for working mothers like you.  We will address each of the success factors above plus much more so you can do more than just keep your head above water.  Spaces will be limited, so if you would like to receive priority notification, register here and you’ll have a chance to sign up before I announce the program to the general public.  Don’t want to wait?  Call me at 813-839-5752 to discuss individual coaching options. 

Review of Jack Stahl's "Lessons on Leadership"

Lessons on Leadership, by Jack Stahl, is rich with theory combined with real world examples and practical techniques allowing for easy implementation.  This book wasn’t intended solely for the CEO.  Stahl understands that leaders at every level of the organization must be on board and communicating the vision and direction to achieve success.  A must read for all leaders, both new and seasoned. 

Review Of “Executive Intelligence: What All Great Leaders Have”

In “Executive Intelligence: What All Great Leaders Have,” Justin Menkes clearly articulates the skills that comprise Executive Intelligence.  He supports his theory with numerous examples from today’s top executives. 

In addition, Menkes offers insights into the world of management science, including the tools and theories used to assess and develop potential leaders.  His sharp commentary plainly indicates his view on other leadership theories.

Overall, Menkes does a good job of conveying the skills necessary for success and how to develop Executive Intelligence in future leaders. 

Is it time to throw in the towel?

You’ve established your goals.  You’ve created and executed your plan.  You’re getting nowhere.  How do you know whether you should work harder or throw in the towel?

It may feel like the universe is trying to send you a message –it’s coming in loud and clear.  Before you give up, decide if the problem is lies in the goal, the plan or the execution.  Then you can make a decision that you can live with and won’t regret down the road. 

Start by asking yourself the following questions:

1. Can I live with the alternative?
2. Have I really given one hundred percent to making this a reality?
3. Is my personal bias or agenda preventing me from seeing the solution?
4. Does this goal still fit into my big picture plans? 
5. Do I expect immediate gratification? 

Can I live with the alternative?  There is always an alternative.  It could as simple as doing nothing at all, it could be moving in another direction, or it could force you to make a decision that you don’t want to make.  Put together a list of what would or could happen if you didn’t achieve this goal.  Are there any options you can live with?

I worked with a client whose time management problems were affecting his ability to be successful at work.  No matter what steps we took to remedy the situation, we were never successful because time management was just the symptom of a larger problem – over commitment.  Until he decided if he could live with the alternative, releasing projects that he enjoyed working on, he would never achieve his goal and his over commitment would continue to wreak havoc on his career. 

Have I really given one hundred percent to making this a reality?  Be honest.  Have you really done everything you can (within legal and ethical standards, of course) to achieve your goal?  If not, what’s holding you back?  Are you doing this for yourself or for someone else?  Is fear keeping you in your comfort zone?  Does your plan require you to devote more time to shoring up your weaknesses rather than leveraging your natural talents? 

How will you live with yourself if you throw in the towel before you have given it your all? If it is a goal worth pursuing, rework your plan so that you are comfortable with the execution and then give 100% to making it a reality.

Is my personal bias or agenda preventing me from seeing the solution?  How many times have you let your personal biases or agendas get in the way of seeing the clear solution? 

I have a good friend (we’ll call her Grace) who took a job with a company that she thought would be perfect for her career.  On paper, it was.  It was a promotion with promises of more to come, a salary increase, and an organization with a good reputation.  Grace started this new job with optimism and a determination to be the best.  What she was lacking was flexibility.  She had a predetermine plan for achieving success that would have worked fabulously if she were with her previous employer but not at her new job.  Her personal agenda, achieving success by following her plan, and inability to adapt to a new environment resulted in a rough start.  Once she was able to look at the situation objectively and let go of her agenda, the solution was obvious. 

Planning is important, but so is flexibility.  Sometimes we have to have to be open to following a different path if we want to reach our goals.  Look at your situation objectively.  Have you been overlooking a clear solution?

Does this goal still fit into my big picture plans?  It’s okay to stop pursing a goal that no longer serves you.  If you haven’t already, complete the ideal life exercise.  Get a clear vision of how you would like your life to be and then answer the following questions.  Who is in your life?  Where you do you live?  How do you spend your time at work?  How do you spend your free time?  What gives you the greatest satisfaction?  Include anything else that you feel is relevant.  Once you have you big picture plans, determine if this goal still fits into those plans.  If it does, continue to work on it.  If not, ditch it.

Do you expect immediate gratification?  Some things can’t be rushed, they have to be cultivated.  In this age of technology, we often expect life to give us instantaneous results.  Realistically, you have to give your efforts, sometimes repeated efforts, time to make the impact that you intended.  In advertising, the rule is to run an ad at least three times before you can expect to see any results.  Follow this rule of thumb when implementing your professional goals. 

For instance, if your goal is to make new contacts in the community, a good approach would be to attend networking functions.  You don’t give up if nothing came from attending just one function.  Commit to attending the same group three to five times.  If you are doing everything right and you aren’t building connections, find another group.  Don’t just quit, assuming networking doesn’t work. 

Making the decision to continue working on your goal or to throw in the towel is a difficult one.  Six months after I started my coaching practice, I considered giving up and going back to work.  I had done tons of work with little to show for it.  I was frustrated, and going back to the corporate world offered a quick and secure solution to the challenges of being an entrepreneur.  However, I asked myself the questions above and took my time making a decision.  What I realized was that I had worked hard but I hadn’t really given one hundred percent to making it work; I had a plan that I refused to deviate from, even when it made sense; and I wanted to believe that you could build a full practice in six short months.   After reflecting on my “big picture plans,” it was clear that going back to work would be the easy way out – an alternative that I couldn’t live with.  So I continued, became more flexible and the foundation that I had laid finally started paying off. 

Confidence or lack of it

I have a confession to make, I love TV - it’s one of my guilty pleasures.  Why am I telling you this?  Because one of my favorite shows just happens to tie into this week’s theme on confidence. 

Have you ever watched TLC’s What Not to Wear?  I started watching it because I liked to see the transformation from no style to well-dressed.  But, I got hooked on the transformation that takes place in the “contributor’s” confidence, not their new look.  In one week, not only do they get a new wardrobe and haircut, they get a new perspective on life.  How great is that?

If I had to guess, I would say that at some point in everyone’s life, they have had a dip in their confidence level.  When it seeps into our professional lives, it can cause consequences that cancel out all of our hard work. 

After being contacted by several people for confidence coaching, I decided to write this article. More and more people are realizing the effect it has on their personal and professional lives.  No one is exempt – anyone from the CEO down to the new interns can suffer from a lack of confidence. 

To keep your confidence level in check, read this week’s brand new article!

The Silent Career Killer

I consider myself lucky – I am surrounded by amazing people.  They can be described as smart, successful, witty, passionate, and more.  So, I’m shocked when I listen to these very people put themselves down.  How it is that someone who is so great can have doubts about their value?  I (and most others) see their accomplishments and their potential while they worry about their perceived failures and shortcomings. 

A lack of self-confidence is dangerous to your career.  It can manifest itself with arrogant or self-deprecating behavior.  Our fears and insecurities are directly linked to our level of confidence.  If you aren’t confident in your abilities and the value you offer, how can you expect someone else to be?  In the end, you could very well be passed up for the promotion you want. 

What happens to people who are unsure of their value?  At the extreme, they don’t take risks and they set goals that are too low for fear of failure.  Often, they don’t feel that they deserve success, money, promotions, etc. and may settle for less than what is easily attainable.  For people who suffer from occasional declines in their confidence level, they can be afraid to voice their opinions; focus on the disadvantages of new opportunities; and have a harder time reaching their goals.   

On the other hand, successful professionals are dynamic, decisive, and courageous.  How can you possess these traits without being confident?

What most people don’t realize is that our actions are perpetuating the problem, not improving it.  So how do you improve your confidence (if you suffer from severe self-esteem issues, I recommend seeing a mental health professional)?  Check out these five tips:

1.      Stop the self-sabotaging behaviors.  Every time that you start to put yourself down, either in conversation or in your own head, stop.  Replace that thought with a positive one.  When someone compliments you, simply say “thank you.”  Instead of asking “why me” ask “why not me?” 

2.      Don’t expect perfection from yourself.  It’s great to have high expectations, but remember that you can’t be good at everything.  Accept the fact that you have weaknesses – you are human.  Put yourself in a position where you are building on your strengths and not overcoming your weaknesses. The more successes you experience, the more your confidence will rise. 

3.      Surround yourself with friends and colleagues who are supportive.  Let go of relationships with people who feel compelled to point out all of your weaknesses.  If you can’t separate yourself from them, put it in perspective and limit your interaction with them.  People like this typically make themselves feel better by putting down those they find intimidating. 

4.      Don’t compare yourself to others.   Define success for yourself and create a plan to reach your goals.  Take stock of your achievements by focusing on what have you accomplished in your personal or professional life.  Remind yourself of this from time to time and be proud.

5.      Invest in yourself.  If you don’t take care of yourself, who is going to do it for you?  It’s amazing how much a new haircut or a new suit can affect your self-esteem.  It’s not frivolous to take time out of your schedule to take care of yourself, especially if doing so makes you feel better.  Don’t stop there.    Continue to expand your knowledge and skills on whatever is important to you.